


Unwelcome and Undone

by theauthor2010



Category: Glee
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Future Fic, Gen, Suicide, self-injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-22
Updated: 2011-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-15 20:59:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/164880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthor2010/pseuds/theauthor2010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Mike commits suicide, his parents blame Tina.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unwelcome and Undone

  
The funeral home security dragged her out, Tina screaming all the way. Mercedes and Brittany were on either side of her, holding onto her, but she didn't feel them. "Let me go!" she shrieked. "I need to be with Mike. Please, please! Please let me be with Mike!" She coughed, choked and screamed again. Mercedes held on tightly to her, both arms around her waist. Brittany stroked her hair lightly, patted it. Both girls were so helpless and Tina herself had never been so helpless in her life. She sobbed. They couldn't do this. They couldn't keep her away from her boyfriend. They couldn't keep her from Mike. "I love him! Tell them I didn't do it Mercedes. Tell them please."

She couldn't see, the tears in her eyes blinding her. She fell to the floor and both girls went to catch her. She dragged her feet, screaming. She could not scream enough. It wouldn't make the pain go away.

Mercedes held her tightly still and Brittany soothed her. "It's okay Tina," Brittany whispered. "You need to breathe. Please breathe."

"I didn't kill him!" she shrieked. "He...he...he committed suicide and I tried so hard to keep him healthy..."

Mercedes nodded.”She's right," she said softly. "Please Tina, breathe. That's not your boy, baby, and anyone in their right mind knows you didn't do a thing."

She had walked in, and only got one good look at Mike. He was lying there, in that open coffin, face pale and in a godawful black suit that Mike in life would never wear in a million years. The suit was long sleeved, hiding what Tina knew were arms covered in numerous deep scars, so many cuts. It wasn't her fault. She had done everything for Mike. She had supported him when he went into depressions; she had held him at night while he cried. It didn't matter though, because Mike Chang was dead at twenty years old and the moment she walked into the funeral, his parents had stormed at her like this was her fault.

"I want you out now!" Mike's father said, clearly. "Get out of here. I am warning you, I will call security. You are not welcome here. "

She had stared at him in shock.”He's my boyfriend," she said softly. "Mike...please, I just want to see him one last time. You can't mean that."

Then his mother had come at her. "You killed him!" she shrieked. "You and your ways! You turned him into this. You and your demonic lifestyle killed my son. Mike was happy before he met you. You ruined his life. You killed him." She was screaming and shrieking and tears were running down her face. Everyone in the room was looking at them and Tina felt like a murderer. She knew that it wasn't her fault. She knew that she had tried her best and done everything to keep Mike happy, keep him sane, but still he struggled with depression. The words stung deep, made her feel like it was her fault.

"No please!" she screamed, "Mike!"

She ran up to Mike - no, the body - and the security guards came. Mercedes and Brittany jumped to her aid to help her.

She had known that Mike's family blamed her, but she couldn't believe they would do this. They had blamed her since the autopsy results came in. His wrists and thighs were covered with deep self-injury scars, and his final act had been a suicide. Tina had been mourning, quietly, when Mike's father first said the words, "You did this to him." She was shocked and appalled of course.

She had been with her own mother, sobbing at the hospital, when the man had said those words. "What?" she screamed and of course her mother stood up in her defense.

"You and your...clothing!" he wailed at her. "You're one of those Satanist freaks. My wife told him to stay away from you, but he begged for freedom! Look what his freedom gave him. You killed him."

Tina had stared in shock. "No," she had whimpered. "No. I've been supporting Mike through his depression for four years now. I sent him to his first therapist right after high school. I did...I did everything I could."

Her mother had wrapped an arm around her and stared at Mike's father in shock. "I know you are mourning," she said gently. "I would never, ever blame a man in mourning for his child for what he said, but please, Tina is a good girl. Let her grieve."

He had left, and Tina's mother had assured her it was just from the shock of the grief. She assured her that in a few days they would come down and realize that their son was very sick and his suicide was nobody's fault.

Tina knew Mike suffered from depression. Tina knew he needed help and did everything she could. She did not know, however, that Mike self injured and did not even slightly entertain the possibility that he was suicidal. How could she be so stupid and so blind? When she had come over to Mike's apartment and seen the cops, she had panicked. She was then told he was dead. She watched them take away a body bag.

She had collapsed to her knees and sobbed. She called her parents and they informed Mike's parents. They all drove from Lima to get her. It had been so uniform, so linear, even though her world had gone crazy and time had stopped.

She couldn't remember much, just sobbing.

It was two days later that Mike's mother found the razor blades and the autopsy revealed a suicide, not to mention the deep scars of longtime self injury. "I didn't know!" she cried. She and Mike were intimate on rare occasions but he rarely fully undressed and always wore long sleeves. How could she be so naive? She had assumed his issues made him sexually disinterested and dealt with it. "I'm so sorry. I was so stupid."

Tina curled into Mercedes, still lying on the floor. "Please take me to Mike's. I still have a key."

Mercedes wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Brittany, you got a ride with Santana," she said softly. "You gonna come with us?"

Brittany nodded.

They both stayed close to Tina's side. They ushered her out to Mercedes' car. She got in the back and lay down on the seat. She closed her eyes. She was shaking so hard and she couldn't breathe.

It was a long drive. She fell asleep.

Brittany's fingers in her hair woke her up. "Tina, we're here sweetie," she said softly. Tina opened her eyes and all of the memories came crashing down around her. She had been pulled from her boyfriend’s wake and now she was sitting in the parking lot behind his apartment. She slowly got up and rubbed her eyes.

“Thank you guys,” she said softly, before getting out and rushing upstairs. She ran ahead, but didn’t care if they followed her.

She unlocked the door. The crime scene tape was gone and a person would never know that someone had died there. She unlocked the door and walked inside. It was disturbed to say the least, police having searched every crevice for clues about Mike’s death. She went straight to his bed.

They had been dating for three years, didn’t live together, but Mike’s bed was like her own. She leaned up against the pillow, closing her eyes. Tears fell and she coughed, breathing in the scent there. It was Mike. It was safe. “I didn’t do it,” she said, holding onto it tightly. “I’m so sorry Mike.”

She looked around her. She could hear Mercedes and Brittany in the front room. They had followed but were keeping their distance. She clutched Mike’s pillow close to her and closed her eyes. She was so upset. Everything inside of her was burning. She looked to her side to see a white teddy bear lying there, next to the bed, and sighed softly, picking it up. “I remember you,” she sobbed. “Mike and I both had one of these, from that silly fair last year.” She picked it up, clutching it tight in one arm.

There was something in the red bow around its neck. They had searched high and low through Mike’s apartment but they had missed something.

She took it out of the bow. It was a tightly folded piece of paper. They had said there was no suicide note. They were wrong.

 **Tina,  
I’m so sorry. There aren’t words to say how sorry I am. I have tried EVERYTHING you asked me to. I know you wanted me to get better, so bad, but some things just don’t get better. You’ve been the bright spot in my life. I love you more than anything and you deserve better than a crippled boyfriend to take care of. Keep shining for me.  
Mike.**

She closed her eyes and shook her head, clinging to the stupid bear and the stupid letter. She sobbed. All she had ever done was love Mike and it wasn’t enough. She supposed she would show the letter to Mike’s mother and father, keep moving, keep fighting, keep shining, but the idea of holding onto her strength was one she wasn’t eagerly preparing to face.


End file.
